Sweden and Finland are pushing frantically towards NATO, without Putin’s gas we are threatened with a shaky and noisy winter, and in North Rhine-Westphalia the traffic lights are experiencing a Waterloo election: there are hard things in Sandra Maischberger’s new Tuesday speech!
Wolfgang Ischinger (76). The former head of the Munich Security Conference demands: “Russia must withdraw its troops behind the border!”
Igor Wolobujow. The former deputy director of Gazprom Bank fled to Ukraine and fears: “Putin’s people will find me everywhere”.
Klaus Müller (51, Greens). The head of the Federal Network Agency reassured: “Total gas flows to Germany are almost unchanged, gas storage tanks are fuller than in 2021.”
Gunther Jauch (65). The host sees the future of Europe hanging by a thread.
Tina Hassel (58 years old). The ARD journalist railed against the policy: “Like the syringe junkies, they clung to cheap energy from Russia!”
Helene Bubrowski (40). The journalist (“FAZ”) warns: “The Greens know the risk of flying high.”
Cohesive team! Is teamwork good? The Zoff-o-Meter prefers successful combinations to fiery fights!
Shortly before the start of the show, the amazed hostess of the talk show found out: Volobuyov will not be there. The line to kyiv is in place, the ex-director of Gazprom is not sick either, but he does not show up and no one knows why. Phew!
The most enlightening analyzes
In the NRW elections, the Chancellor did not fire at all. Günther Jauch also sees it that way. With a jacket and a handkerchief, the host is seated on the far right and summarizes: “Olaf Scholz leaned out of the window. He was on every other election poster, so he can’t make a fuss about it now.”
“Only a third of SPD supporters said the Chancellor was really a driving force,” asserts ARD-Hassel. “It’s bitter.”
Maischberger cites an old football adage: “First you’re unlucky, then you’re unlucky too!” The perpetrator, however, is not mentioned: ex-Bayern star Jürgen “Kobra” Wegmann. Jauch does it better: “If you have shit on your foot, you have shit on your foot. Andreas Brehme!”
Most military attacks
Hassel opened up on the defense minister’s sin register regarding the traffic light debacle in North Rhine-Westphalia: “The helicopter flight was maximum headwind,” she cursed. “No flair! A woman who doesn’t care about the team! Who didn’t go to the soldiers for Christmas, unlike her predecessor…”
The talk show host is particularly upset by Christine Lambrecht’s arrogant response to a question about Bundeswehr ranks. In wartime it is not important “to pass a television quiz”, mocked the minister. Maischberger quickly to Jauch: “Would it rather be a 500 euro or 16,000 euro question?”
Most humorless answer
But the quiz master is reluctant to take jokes from strangers: “Probably in between,” he replies awkwardly, “and you can also ask who must be able to tell them apart exactly. I’m a servile and I don’t would probably only partially happen.
But when Jauch noticed the public’s disappointment, he remembered something: “She’s defense minister. She is now Minister of Self-Defense,” he jokes.
A little research: Lambrecht, according to the quiz master, thanks his work for proportional representation, and “by the way, this proportional representation should sometimes also be used in public broadcasters…” He doesn’t have to say more.
Flagrant ministerial denigration
FAZ-Bubrowski digs into the Lambrecht morgue: “Before, she was Minister of Justice, and that’s where she caught the eye because she was a master in the art of allocating high positions to the comrades of the SPD”, recalls the journalist. “When she also became Family Minister, she used that double hat to accommodate people very smartly.” Phew!
The others go after Karl Lauterbach: “The Minister of Health of Hearts, who now does not kindle hearts at all and disfigures a relatively large amount of chaos in his ministry! Hassel blasphemes.
“Lauterbach operates primarily on its own ticket and is not at the forefront when it comes to properly organizing a ministry,” Jauch helped.
Maischberger also wants to question her guest in her area of expertise: “Have you watched all of the ESC?” she asks. Jauch answer: “No, I’m too old for that now. I find it hard to watch shows that I make myself and then last three, four, five hours…”
Most political statement
The quiz master is better suited to the topic of democracy: “I felt bitter during the NRW elections,” he admits. “45% of eligible voters did not go to the polls. In Ukraine, people are hungry for democracy. They risk their lives for it! And with us, people stay at home and throw this fundamental democratic right in the trash. »
“It was then that I noticed the power that freedom, democracy and belonging to Europe have over other countries”, continues Jauch, “while here, in this rich complacency, we hold that taken for granted and people don’t think too much about themselves anymore scissors. I find that really a shame!” This is the first round of applause.
Most contradictory prognosis
Ischinger also ensures the show has a high-end format with its diplomatic look. “I share the optimism that Ukraine will exist next year,” he reveals, but: “I share the skepticism that we can end this war quickly.”
Wolfgang Ischinger (76): Former head of the Munich Security ConferencePhoto: ARD
His analysis: “The forecasts go more in the direction that it will take more time. President Selenskyj won the information war against Russia 10-0 in just a few weeks. I think it’s great!”
Most competent management report
“Russia was unable to achieve its original war aims,” Ischinger said then. “It is now a developing trench warfare, a war of attrition, and that is why many experts expect it to last.”
According to the expert, the chance for peace only exists “when both sides are convinced that they can no longer win the war on the battlefield. We are far from it.”
Ischinger judged the NATO membership of the two Nordic countries: “The task of 200 years of neutrality is an earthquake for the Swedes, but also for the European security landscape. This is good news for Europe’s security. The situation is stabilized rather than destabilized.
His forceful demand: “After what the Russians have done, we should say: Now let’s really get Ukraine into NATO!”
Then the Zoff-o-Meter starts
Ischinger sees Alice Schwarzer & Co.’s open letter to the Federal Chancellor clearly annoyed as a “defeatist rejection of Ukraine’s right to exist” and a “moral and political distortion between aggressor and victim”.
Most emotional memory
Schwarzer also asked Jauch if he wanted to sign the letter. “Two of my uncles lie dead on Russian soil,” he reports, visibly moved. “Another was trapped in Stalingrad and did not return from Siberia until the early 1950s.”
Other reasons for his intensive study of the subject: “My wife and I adopted two children from Siberia. I was able to tell Gorbachev about it once, and he then told me his stories. So I’m really worried about that.”
“But then I found out what this letter meant to be fake,” Jauch then explains. “He basically wanted Ukraine to surrender. Historically, it also made completely wrong assumptions, going by the motto: So please don’t compete with a nuclear power in the first place! The host raises his hands in panic.
Yes, Jauch continued, “Americans didn’t win the Vietnam War. In the first Afghan war, the Soviet Union couldn’t put anything together, and in the end it was three nuclear powers that came out and left Afghanistan to the Taliban!”
Schröder’s most boring eulogies
The last clip shows Putin eleven days before the start of the war with the cheeky demand: “Germans should open their wallets and ask themselves if they are ready to pay three, four or five times more for gas, electricity and heating. Otherwise, you should thank Mr. Schröder, because it is his success, the result of his work!”
The most interesting information about it: According to ARD-Hassel, “it is believed that they have now found a trick” to collect at least “everything that is not used from the equipment of the majestic former chancellor of Schröder”. Hallelujah!
Hassel still wants to get rid of the blame on politics: “They latched on to cheap energy from Russia like syringe junkies!”
Jauch trembles at the moment of truth: “The utility bills will come in the spring of 2023”, he predicts, “and then the crying and gnashing of teeth will begin!”
The biggest U-turn
At the end of the day, the head of the Federal Network Agency Müller crosses his legs, smiles happily at the talk show host and conveys huge portions of confidence with the very big dipper of information: “The gas is flowing, emergency care is safe!”
However: “The memory is now at 42%, but that’s not good and reassuring”, then immediately restricts Müller. “If you want to prepare for fall, you have to start saving now. You can do this in industry, but also with consumers. Phew!
Klaus Müller, head of the Federal Network Agency with Sandra MaischbergerPhoto: ARD
His last sentence: “If you have gas heating, then your heating bill will be immensely expensive. And with that, good night…
“Most people know where the price of gas is. Very few people know where the price of gas is. » Klaus Muller
Monetary information and crisp comments, the host went through all the harassment without brake: it was a talk show in the “Full Throttle” category.
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